Petition to have all traces of Attack Attack! removed from the internet

For too long now, crabcore has been granted the legitimacy of any other established artistic discipline such as mime, or competitive dog dancing.Users of the internet will have noticed the rise in the disturbing trend and will positively identify it's originators as Columbus, Ohio based band Attack Attack! [emphasis not mine].This is a petition which will be submitted to various internet oligarchs such as Google, (owners of Youtube) News Corporation (owners of Myspace), Facebook Inc., and rainhamsheds.co.uk in an attempt to help them realize the damaging effect crabcore and Attack Attack! are having on our culture:Crabcore makes the elderly afraid to leave their homes after dark.Crabcore is devaluing property prices.Crabcore is exacerbating the global financial crisis.Crabcore strengthens the resolve of our overseas enemies.By removing all traces of Attack Attack from the internet, we can hope to regain what we have lost: Our corpse-eyed youth will no longer resemble a generation cast adrift in a whirlpool of guyliner, hair-straighteners, the use of the word 'party' as a verb and ridiculous, pouting photographs taken from improbable angles.To oppose this petition is to oppose freedom, music, smiles, laughter, happiness, pop-tarts, joy, love and 'chillaxing'.

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